Have you ever heard of a genogram? It is a way of mapping the family and viewing the way relationships develop and the results of those relationships between family members. I had a crazy week this week with my family--it was actually really hard. Going to class and discussing the different systems we see in the family and the way our relationships and interactions with each other effect the family got me thinking about what's going on right now. I can see patterns happening in my family!
One pattern I've noticed so far is that my grandpa, grand-uncle, and my dad were all married three times and the last marriage lasted the longest. The brothers only had children with their first wife and subsequently didn't want anymore children. My dad had children with each wife, but it didn't last in close relationships. I want to know how these patterns started, why they continued, and what might have made them happen in the first place. Is it because of the way the father acted?--the effect of the mothers?--the way they were raised?
In the Old Testament, New Testament, and the Book of Mormon, the Lord often mentions how in 3 or 4 generations the consequences of the actions of certain persons will be brought upon their descendants. We often think of the Lord punishing these people--but in reality it's the effect of our decisions now that will have lasting effects on our posterity. How wonderful it is that we actually have the power to effect not just us, but generations of family members by making inclusive, enriching decisions that lead to close, healthy family relationships. We can do it if we pay attention!
I have a goal to establish healthy patterns in my family. It'll be hard, but I know that the Lord has an outline for families. He has a Plan--it's simple. It's not a secret. It's laid out in the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ and his subsequent Plan for us to find a fullness of joy--in families.