Same-gender Attraction. It's a hefty topic and a controversial one. Personally, this is a topic I've been increasingly interested in as I have become older, mostly because when I was in middle school and high school, I identified as a bi-sexual. A lot of people don't know this about me, and it often surprises them, but my close friends and I often joke about those days. I usually describe it as a phase, but based off research, there was a lot more that can influence same-sex attraction than I thought. I also found the discussion on gender roles very interesting to me. Everyone but my family thought I was a boy growing up, so hearing my classmates opinions was really intriguing, but I'd like to focus on the first topic today.

Growing up there was six children in the house and my parents. My half-siblings had a lot of influence on me growing up. I always aspired to be like my older sister Christina. She was so cool and collected all the time. My brother was a little adventurous with his teenage adventures and that kept me out of trouble for a bit, seeing him struggle, and my other half sister was always boy crazy. I think I took on a little bit of each of their attributes when I entered middle school and high school--even though they had all moved out by that time. I had a rough time in school. Figured out I liked boys and girls, which started with my friend enlightening me on the options of sexuality: bisexual, heterosexual, or gay. I'm still not 100% sure when I decided what I was, but I remember finding women attractive and being intrigued by them for a number of years beforehand. I felt like my eyes had been opened. My mother had her suspicions, my extended family found out after I came out over the dinner table once at my aunts, and no one said a word. The most crap I ever got for "being me" was from my suspicious mom, but not even much then--just disapproval. I believe that because of my motivation and desire to change, along with my religious beliefs, any desire to date women left a few years after graduating high school. Does this happen with everyone? No. Can it happen, I believe it can.

According to research there is not just one way to categorize someone who has same-gender attraction. Science seems to show that there are psychosocial aspects, possible biological traits and honestly our agency, that can influence this. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to write a political post about my stance on this issue. It's far-reaching and complicated. What I am saying is that research shows that we aren't "born that way" exclusively. In fact, some LGBTs would find that offensive saying that stance degrades their choice to love someone of the same sex. As if it were a disease they cannot rid themselves of if they wanted to.

I say we because I don't believe I was born to like men and women the same. If I was, I'd still consider dating women. I do believe that a lot of things in my environment growing up influenced me and that I also chose to define myself as such for a number of years. I also chose not to date women later on, because my choices led me to desire men exclusively.

I never went through reparative therapy like some people do, but after the discussions and videos I watched this week, I believe the option to receive therapy for those who would like to try and change is good. I believe that just like the option for men and women to date whomever they want, watch whatever movie they want, go to counseling for whatever issues they feel they are struggling with--if they dislike the same-gender attractions they have, or feel bad, sad, mad, or are just curious about themselves and what science shows about same-gender attraction, they should have a right to seek out help--even if just to understand themselves better. I find it appalling that people would want to make therapy like this unavailable and label it as wrong because the world thinks people are "born that way". If "God made me this way it shouldn't be something that should be treated".

I think this is so personal that I believe anyone should have the option, but I don't believe children should be forced to enter into such therapy against their will because of disapproving parents. Many people have gone through reparative therapy and have changed. Some haven't. And not everyone will. Every therapist I've seen discuss the issue admitted that it doesn't work for everyone, but the likelihood of it working is higher in those "motivated" individuals. Even for some of them, it does not always work. It's a complicated thing. Do such individuals need to be "fixed"? NO. I don't think there's anything wrong with them because they believe differently than I do. There are people, on both sides of the spectrum, that change their perspective of themselves throughout their life, and they should have a place to go should they seek a change.

I know that for me, I have learned to respect my friends who don't share my heterosexual identification. I have many friends who love themselves for it and those friends who fight against it because they don't want those feelings. I hope that we can all gain a greater respect and love for one another and a better understanding of the research that is being done to TRY and understand this issue better. Unfortunately, research on this subject has become increasingly controversial and some are trying to prohibit it. I know that knowledge can open up doors of understanding for those who seek it. If we could all put away our political platforms for a minute and share what we know to be true and what we feel, we could find more light and love.